A sleepless nite

I can't sleep.. did I or did I not sleep?? I remembered going to bed at 2+, tossing and turning and finally got up to the loo at 6.. maybe I did sleep a little, maybe not.. something is on my mind (again).. I cried alittle without knowing why.. my heart is still bleeding (oh is it??).. perhaps this year is ending and I have to begin a new chapter of my life.. feels kinda nostalgic and sometimes can't bear to let the past memories fade.. I felt uneasy letting others (ivan) touch my comp.. he copied my files into his portable harddisk.. though the files was eventually transferred back to my harddisk yet he can always recover them if he wanted to.. I had forewarn him not to do so, yet I couldnt completely trust ivan.. I knew him too well.. he's those rather kaypoh or investigative (if it sounds better) type of guy.. he loves checking up on people and know somebody behind the mask they are hiding.. I wouldnt know he was following my blog until he asked for the new blog address.. this is ivan, whom I really detest this characteristic of him.. I have to warn him again.. there is nothing much secretive about my files.. its just some pictures and esp the chat logs I wanna keep to myself.. my privacy is important to me.. If I came to know that Ivan was going thru my documents, I would never speak to him again..