Regrets

Often, we would regret for some mistakes made in life.. talking about mistakes, i have loads of them.. and i think the biggest of them all is in knowing him.. it gave me the most misery and regrets of all the others i had made.. so, yesterday, i went to cristofori concert at victoria concert hall.. it was a boring one.. but i went just to show my support and to meet up my ex-colleagues.. some regrets here again.. somehow i've wasted a good sat evening away, on a boring concert, just sitting down there and sms for several hrs.. went w/o my dinner and rushed from place to place.. i regretted going to the concert, i regretted exchanging sms with him which made me fell into despondency again.. the jerk of the century, he shd burn in hell... the heartless b*stard tat shd perish on this earth... i regretted, i just regretted knowing him.. if i hadnt replied his msg then, if i hadnt chatted with him.. if i hadnt knew him then i would be happier.. enjoying my life with my friends and be free from all these misery.. i am hurt, deeply and badly hurt by this jerk.. i know its not my fault, i shouldnt get myself so upset with this fellow, but ghosts haunt me everyday, bad memories kept floating to my mind.. i hate it.. i hate my attitude.. i wish i could start everything all over again..

Ok, so i was there chatting with lena and chris after breakfast.. abt 3hrs in total.. too bad fernie was in only abt 15 mins and she had to rush off to get weixiang's books.. *miss u, mei! i wish u happiness..!* so, we formed a gals club then, with me as the lao-da, and elena the president... we plan to do so many things tog, like pubbing, sentosa, yoga, etc.. intoxicate me so i would have less and less time thinking of AL.. and finally reduce to zero.. its raining heavily right now.. i cant put my mind into studying, i din prepare anything for tomolo's tute.. exams are coming and yet i am nonchalant abt it.. abit of the bo-chap attitude.. wat happened to me? i wasnt like that in the past.. when it comes to studying i make sure i know my stuff well.. what the hell?? Men is the root of all evil.. *Gals, pls dun deny this fact* All men were born in hell and brought up to earth by the devils to harm the women of eden.. men are like serpents.. they induce women to commit sins, they lead women into the world of darkness and trample them.. WTF.. dun trust men.. trust yourself..

Well, there was this question tat popped up.. what do u want for xmas and new yr resolution? Like chris, i want to be happy, but in order to be happy there are lots of preparation work to be done.. first step is to forget AL, cut off all contacts with him, erase all memories of him.. my target is one day, i would feel nothing abt this man.. it is easier to say than done.. how to forget this person who once hurt me so deeply? who ruin my life and my perspective of a wonderful relationship? why did God ever let me meet this man, who brought me up to heaven then kicked me all the way to the 18th level of hell in just one night? WHY GOD? Why are u so unfair to me? I have been good all the time.. why did i deserve a man like AL? WHY??