Working now

Have started work since Monday.. It was quite stressful for me as it has been more than 4 months afterall.. Maybe it's the psychological thing, my breastmilk lessen since day 1 after starting work :( I had wanted to continue breastfeeding even after starting work, however it just decrease.. I'm rather sad over it.. But I will still try my best and will not give up till the last drop :)

It was quite bad for the first 2 days, over some sad news.. And i find myself quite rusty and needs refresher training desperately.. People also go on mc as soon as I'm back.. Anyways it only got better after the 3rd day.. My previous knowledge and experience starts to come back but still needs lots of catching up.. Somehow I feel that people are not understanding enough.. They expect me to resume all my duties right away.. I guess after so long, they should treat me like a newcomer and allow me some time to recap before taking over stuff.. I guess they overlook this.. I can foresee lots of pressure and responsibilities very soon..

The first day was terrible and I even thought of quitting.. The feeling of missing Charmaine made it worse.. I miss the times where I can spend time with her, feed and bathe her.. Now I can only do it during the weekends and hope Monday not to come.. I think
It's a regret I'm not able to watch my daughter grow up day by day, hour by hour.. How I wish I could strike toto that will allow me to rest for a few years :(

I'm not really happy lately but I hope I'll get better :(