Better
Better mood today :)
I am writting this post in my mum's place.. the last month passed like a mist.. I am still overwhelmed by the responsibility of caring for a baby.. To be frank, I still can't get used to being a mother.. I still feel that I am a child who needs someone else to care for me, i.e. my mother.. My mood is like a rollar coaster.. sometimes I feel well, sometimes I feel depressed and kept crying.. it happened to me like as if I didn't know what I was doing and I just let my imagination went wild.. I also cannot control my thinking... sometimes I think of bad things, and I also thought of undoing everything and go back to before...
Things got abit better since yesterday evening when I handover my baby to my mother.. I went home for a good night's rest... and today, my bb remains at my mum's place while I come over to her house.. I think this is a better arrangement, better than she coming over to my place... I really don't know what to do without my mother.. she really has a way with babies and my girl is so well behaved when in her house.. unlike in my house, she is like a terror.. I just cry non stop when she cries... I am really grateful to my mum, what did I do to deserve such a good mother? She really sacrifices her everything for us.. I heartpain her as I made her so tired over the past one month but she never once complain.. she just smile at my baby even though she cries and cries sometimes... my mum also never collect money or talk about the money issue.. even when I want to give her more cash for the extra utility my bb would use in the house, she doesnt want to accept.. my mum is known to be thrifty and always try to save utility.. but for this, she never want to collect any extras from me.. I am so touched.. and I felt stupid and regretful as I had been bad in the past... I used to be naughty and made her angry all the time.. mothers are great.. I dunno whether I will be a good mother or not, but I think I will never be as good as her....
Thank God for my mother.. I love you, mummy!!!!!!
I am writting this post in my mum's place.. the last month passed like a mist.. I am still overwhelmed by the responsibility of caring for a baby.. To be frank, I still can't get used to being a mother.. I still feel that I am a child who needs someone else to care for me, i.e. my mother.. My mood is like a rollar coaster.. sometimes I feel well, sometimes I feel depressed and kept crying.. it happened to me like as if I didn't know what I was doing and I just let my imagination went wild.. I also cannot control my thinking... sometimes I think of bad things, and I also thought of undoing everything and go back to before...
Things got abit better since yesterday evening when I handover my baby to my mother.. I went home for a good night's rest... and today, my bb remains at my mum's place while I come over to her house.. I think this is a better arrangement, better than she coming over to my place... I really don't know what to do without my mother.. she really has a way with babies and my girl is so well behaved when in her house.. unlike in my house, she is like a terror.. I just cry non stop when she cries... I am really grateful to my mum, what did I do to deserve such a good mother? She really sacrifices her everything for us.. I heartpain her as I made her so tired over the past one month but she never once complain.. she just smile at my baby even though she cries and cries sometimes... my mum also never collect money or talk about the money issue.. even when I want to give her more cash for the extra utility my bb would use in the house, she doesnt want to accept.. my mum is known to be thrifty and always try to save utility.. but for this, she never want to collect any extras from me.. I am so touched.. and I felt stupid and regretful as I had been bad in the past... I used to be naughty and made her angry all the time.. mothers are great.. I dunno whether I will be a good mother or not, but I think I will never be as good as her....
Thank God for my mother.. I love you, mummy!!!!!!
posted by wEnDy @ 2:13 PM
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