I've finally decided to come back after a long break :)
So, on 6 March 2010, my baby girl was born in Raffles Hospital. Her name has finally been decided as Gan Jia Xuan, Charmaine.
It was a good 9-10months having her in my belly.. she has been a very good foetus, giving me minimum morning sickness, little water retention, backaches and tiredness... All throughout my pregnancy, I have been feeling more energetic then most preggies, I still do housework and walk alot.. that explains why my feet were not bloated till birth.. And best of all, I only suffered 2hrs of labour.. which most guide books and magazines says minimum 10-12hrs of labour for first births.. Mine is a miracle :D
I admitted to the hospital at 8.30am, after completing the admission procedures, we checked into the labour ward and cleared my bowels.. the doctor came in at around 9.30am, burst my water bag, put me on the drip and its only 9.50am.. labour pains begin shortly after and my baby was born before noon... poor doctor, she never thought I would give birth so soon.. after doing her stuff, she actually drove back to Sengkang for her medical appointments but had to rush back to Raffles Hospital to deliver my baby with just a short notice...
The rest is history... The next 2 days at the hospital I couldn't sleep well, thinking of my baby all the time... at the same time, feeling guilty as I didn't feed her enough, making her cry with hungry all the time... I have read up many guide books on breastfeeding and was so convinced I want to breastfeed her that I gave instruction to the nursery that I want total breastfeeding for my baby... without knowing that breastfeeding is not that easy... my breastmilk didn't come till few days later and I guess all this while in the hospital what my baby was suckling was nothing... which explains her screaming... poor thing *sob
I couldn't wait to be discharged.. fortunately, my baby was not in bad jaundice condition and could be discharged together with me... back home is another nightmare and drama... being first time parents and we didn't know how much to feed our baby... my mother who used to be an experienced caregiver, has been rusty for so long.. the last baby she has cared for is already 21yrs old! Furthermore, they used to measure the milk in oz, us in modern days is in ml!
Experiment, experiment and experiment, we have underfed our baby for a while, worried that by giving her too much milk will lead to bloatedness... Yet not giving her enough made her scream... It was hell for me the first 2 days at home.. having to deal with a new life (responsibilities) and enduring pains in my body (top+bottom)... I found myself not producing enough milk to feed my baby... My nipples were so sore from breastfeeding, I had to use an electronic pump and hand expressing... I thought that diligence pays off, so I pump every 2 hours for half an hour per session... even in the wee hours of the night, which I didn't sleep, keep getting up from bed to pump, pump and pump.. massage my breasts till bruised... till my nipples bleed... I actually saw fresh blood being pumped into the milk bottles.. how gross... but luckily, it wasn't my baby who is drinking the blood.. haha... It was indeed stressful... pain plus the guilt of not having enough breastmilk made me cry for one whole day... I couldn't stop crying Day 4 after birth... I cried from morning till night... worse when people talk to me.. I cry even more... I cry when my baby cry... I just cried and cried and cried... I had to supplement my baby's diet with formula milk which I don't want to... Breastmilk is the best gift a mother gives to her baby.. it is not something that you can buy off NTUC shelves...
Day 5 after birth is when I really feel better... feel better to care for my baby and care for myself.. I was banned from all household chores.. though I still do a bit without telling anyone... shhh..... the new arrangement is that I will care for my baby in the daytime with my mother popping in to help bathe her and whenever she can, and she will take the night shift after 10pm to feed my baby while I could have a good night rest... my in laws drive almost daily from west coast to cook nutritious confinement food for me so that my mother can be spared from the cooking.. I really heart pain my mother and she has to walk to and fro my house for at least 4times a day and she can't even sleep at night having to care for the baby, before this arrangement was finalised... alot of things we have miscalculated and thought things would be much easier.. but till the baby is born, alot of things went haywired and we found that we couldn't deal with the stress and workload... caring for a baby is so much more difficult than working or studying..
Right now, I am still diligently expressing my breastmilk, although my production is increasing daily, but still have to supplement with formula milk as supply does not meet demand.. I really pray and hope that I can meet her demand.. I do not mind to continue breastfeed after I go back to work.. I hope I can give her this special "gift" for at least 3 months...
I love my Baby Charmaine.. *muacks muacks muacks* :D
