Last Christmas in Wonderland

My last christmas in Avnet wasn't a pleasant christmas.. in fact, I dread it.. something happened during the gift exchange.. My fault, coz I made a mistake.. and maybe I said something that I shouldn't have, but my message was interpreted the wrong way and caused some misunderstanding.. nevermind, I am not gonna illustrate what happened.. what's over is over.. anyway, I have gotten the message quite clearly.. If I am treasured, I would have received more presents than I have given out.. I have made up my mind that this is the last Christmas, and I am happy with no regrets whatsoever =)

My Christmas Day was spent happily in Suntec/Marina Sq with my loved ones.. my hubby, mum, sis and nephew.. I am indeed thrilled to have spent half a day with my nephew, without the watchful eyes of his mum.. we took him out to buy his Christmas present, something we had promised sometime back but never actualize.. he is happy the whole time, getting to eat "unhealthy stuff", such as pork chop, fries and ice-cream which his mother never allowed him to.. my nephew is like reduced to bones now... not being able to eat the food he likes and absolutely no food after 8.. there was some unpleasant scenes when we went to fetch him at his home.. his mother was like all black faced and giving us the "Look".. so we found out that she and my bro had an argument this morning.. then took it all out on the poor son and us.. esp she warned her son "YOU BETTER DUN ANYHOW EAT, ELSE YOU WILL BE RESPONSIBLE YOURSELF!" The message was so clear to us.. it is a warning to us as well.. I couldnt not feel pity for my nephew..

On the way home, he started to panick as his mother will sure scold him for buying new toys.. when approaching home, he insisted me to keep all the toys as he feared for the mother's reactions.. in the end, he took home 2 of the 4 toys we bought him after being assured by my bro of his "safety".. I really pity him as why would a child feel such fear..? The look on his face is dread.. it almost made me cry... I can't help but feel that his mother is using him to vent her frustration over everything, over us, worrying that we would teach him bad stuff and turn him against her.. what nonsense.. we are also victims of her own frustrations.. and the poorest thing of all is my nephew.. haiz.. although all mothers love their own children, but my sis-in-law has very bad temper and often spout hurtful words at my nephew.. he is too young to understand the underlying messages now, but i hope he will not grow up getting hurt..

Grandpa

My grandpa is always on my mind lately.. Recently, he has moved into my mum’s house, with much unwillingness from my mum, yet she has learnt to accept it.. you may think that he is my dad’s father.. but neh.. he’s my mum’s own father… why is she unwilling? It’s a long story… I don’t know if there’s anything that happened in the past before, but as far as I know, my mum is closer to my grandmother.. she is rather afraid of my grandfather as he is well known to have a hot and quick temper.. I guess my mum is afraid that she might not be able to cope with my grandfather around.. my grandfather can get rather naggy.. you know, it runs in the family, my mum behaves like that too, but she never realizes nor admits.. Now, at 77 years of age and has had several operations, my grandfather is never as strong as he used to be.. as for his temper, it has been quite dormant…

Talking about my grandfather, my earliest memory was of him going to work with a folded umbrella.. I don’t know why I just remember this scene.. I must be really young, maybe before 5yrs old.. my grandfather was a sailor when he was young, having to care for a wife and 6 children.. they had 8 children actually, but had to give 2 away as they really had no means to care for the last 2 children.. my mum is number 4, one of 2 girls in the family..

My grandparents is a harmonious couple.. though my grandfather has a hot temper, my grandmother, on the other hand, had a soft and friendly personality.. yet, it was only my grandmother who can control him.. But she passed away 8yrs ago.. due to heart failure caused by some hard to explain family tragedy… After my grandparents sold off their Aljunied Rd flat, they stayed with my uncle#3 for 20years.. in 2005 when my uncle decided to sell off their Tampines flat and bought a Sengkang flat, they fell out over money issue.. so, my grandfather was chased out and he moved to stay with my eldest uncle (#1).. Uncle#1 is a pain in the ass.. good for nothing type.. since day 1 grandfather shifted in, he has been scheming to get rid of him.. always hinting to him that he wanted to sell off his flat and moved in with his daughter.. one fine day, my grandfather made some coffee and unknowingly dripped some on the kitchen table, causing ants to visit.. Uncle#1 came home and made a big fuss over it.. and even trying to hit my grandfather.. Such a poor thing, my grandfather heard from his coffeeshop kakis there’s a room for rent nearby, so he quickly rented the room and stayed alone.. such an old man staying alone, with no one to cook and care for him.. the house even had no fridge! My sis had to get a mini fridge for him.. so he stayed there for a few months.. until he was told to move as the landlord has sold off the flat.. so he came to stay with us a week ago, taking over my room in my mum’s house… =)

My mum was quite resistant at first.. in this generation’s thinking, the sons should always be the ones to care for aging parents.. that’s why my mum was relunctant, fearing she’ll be the one doing all the dirty job and the sons will end up reaping the benefits.. uncle#1 is hopeless, uncle#2’s 4-rm flat is overcrowded with a wife, a son and 2 daughters, all in and coming to twenties.. uncle#3 GONE, uncle#4 HOPELESS + GONE.. Auntie#1 will not agree.. so left my mum, the poor lamp who always got bullied by her siblings.. anyway, it was good news as we get to take care of my grandfather.. we as the 3rd generation don’t have chance to speak up.. we had wanted to offer our grandfather a place to stay but my mum will never offer unless no choice.. so we had to keep quiet and see my grandfather living alone in a rented flat for a few months.. My siblings, father, and I were supportive to keep my grandfather in our house.. in this, we can take care of him, feed him well and entertain him.. over the past week, it was proven that even ah pok is great company to him, and vice versa.. when my mum was out at 7pm and we were not home yet, they played company to each other, ah gong watching tv and ah pok sleeping beside him.. when someone was home, ah pok would inform ah gong.. such a great combination.. we plan to take ah gong out as much as possible.. if he can walk without pain.. coming xmas we will have a family fest!! =)