Life and Death
Its a feeling very hard to describe. My 2nd eldest uncle from my dad's side passed away last Friday. Suddenly.... from choking on his own phlegm and a blood vessle bursted... He went on eternal rest and is now living in the Lord's home... Though this uncle of mine is not considered close to us yet I do feel sadness.. a relative is gone.. the first sibling of my dad's generation beat 2 of his elder siblings to the eternal rest... I never experience something like this and I dunno how to react.. Its very strange really.. So far I have only encounterd deaths of grandparents.. never an uncle or aunt.. Now it happened.........
My dad is the 6th son and Q No. 12 in the family of 14.... actually 15, one of whom had died during WWII where there is no medicine to cure his then sickness.. No pics of this uncle, most of my dad's siblings do not know how he looked like and his existence was gone with the wind.. my grandma dropped him from the family Q... I have 8 aunties.. 3 unmarried and the closest to me is my 6th aunt who is a year older than my dad... fernie's mum is my 7th aunt... 2yrs younger than my dad... my 5th aunt was adopted by a family and never kept in touch.. last heard was she was married and moved overseas... I was born into this big family where my grandma is my grandpa's 2nd wife.. or in a better term, Singaporean wife... He came from Hainan island and had another wife back in his hometown... My grandma was born in a somewhat wealthy family where one of her ancestors was a court official... I dunno who... and I wonder where did all the wealth went to come my dad's generation... my dad is the youngest son, as in S-O-N.. and of course, the most favoured son... my immediate family seems to be in the limelight most of the time.. Uncles, aunties and cousins whom I dunno seemed to know me and my siblings... I am also surprised when attending my uncle's wake, my long-time-no-see relatives, esp aunties, still can point me out and introduce me as my dad's youngest daughter.. they can also memorize my siblings' names and even know the order of existence...! Being the most favoured son doesn't mean we get the best attention and support.. Not really... we seemed to be the target of everything when my grandma was around.. jealousy aroused, esp in a family with so many women... my poor mom was targeted in many family arguments... Poor her.. she is so quiet and always never utter a word even when being "shot" at... even keeping quiet can also be criticized as a mute.. u see la, how ridiculous can my bunch of aunties be.. I used to be upset and hate it when my mom told me last time.. long tongues!!! But my kind hearted mom told us never to bear grudges... So much about my big big extended family.. now I know how many uncles and aunties I have, how many cousins, nieces and nephews do I have?? I seriously need a calculator.............
So my parents, sis and i attended uncle's funeral this morning... all my grandparents' children attended, except fernie's mom who was excused as her mother-in-law just passed away a week earlier.. it was an awkward gathering... how awkward..? U see, this bunch of relatives dun even meet during CNY, so besides wedding dinner, where else can these people finally gather to meet? Its of course during such "event" lor... who wants to have another "gathering" shall have another old one to disappear... kinda sad right...?
The short service began at 12noon at the funeral parlour.. when the coffin was removed to the vehicle, a stray dog wailed... kinda strange... at Mandai crematory, there was another christian service by a hokkien-speaking pastor. It was a peaceful event all throughout... My 2nd uncle's wife took it rather well.. she gave a short speech, a conversation-like talk to the pastor.. she said my uncle just went off to God's home to rest and waiting for her there.. she is glad he did not suffer much pain and it is indeed a better way to go... the heart breaking part was when the coffin was wheeled to the inferno.. this is kinda sad right?? I couldnt hold back the tears and cried... together with my dad and all my relatives.. my 2nd uncle's wife and my aunties cried loudly this time.. and my cousin yelling "Daddy!!! bye bye!!!!" How sad can this be =( My usual cheerful 6th aunt was also in all tears... worse is my dad cried.. an iron man.. all smiles and cheeky and now crying.. I never seen my dad cried since my grandma died 17yrs back.. this is so heartbreaking.. with one down, who is gg next..? I'm sure this is a qn my bunch of elder aunties and uncles are thinking, yet dare not voice out... noone would imagine that my 2nd uncle would be first to go... I dunno how to deal with life and death.. 7yrs again when my grandma from my mom's side passed away, I was so sad that it seems the skies had fallen.. when my ah girl (pet dog) died in the same yr, my world came crashing down.. I am just so afraid of meeting death... I always have this selfish thought.. if I were to see my loved ones die one by one, I rather be the 1st to die.. hehe.. I just hope that after this affair, everyone will continue to live properly and well... may all those "old fellows" live long long and stay as healthy as possible..........
My dad is the 6th son and Q No. 12 in the family of 14.... actually 15, one of whom had died during WWII where there is no medicine to cure his then sickness.. No pics of this uncle, most of my dad's siblings do not know how he looked like and his existence was gone with the wind.. my grandma dropped him from the family Q... I have 8 aunties.. 3 unmarried and the closest to me is my 6th aunt who is a year older than my dad... fernie's mum is my 7th aunt... 2yrs younger than my dad... my 5th aunt was adopted by a family and never kept in touch.. last heard was she was married and moved overseas... I was born into this big family where my grandma is my grandpa's 2nd wife.. or in a better term, Singaporean wife... He came from Hainan island and had another wife back in his hometown... My grandma was born in a somewhat wealthy family where one of her ancestors was a court official... I dunno who... and I wonder where did all the wealth went to come my dad's generation... my dad is the youngest son, as in S-O-N.. and of course, the most favoured son... my immediate family seems to be in the limelight most of the time.. Uncles, aunties and cousins whom I dunno seemed to know me and my siblings... I am also surprised when attending my uncle's wake, my long-time-no-see relatives, esp aunties, still can point me out and introduce me as my dad's youngest daughter.. they can also memorize my siblings' names and even know the order of existence...! Being the most favoured son doesn't mean we get the best attention and support.. Not really... we seemed to be the target of everything when my grandma was around.. jealousy aroused, esp in a family with so many women... my poor mom was targeted in many family arguments... Poor her.. she is so quiet and always never utter a word even when being "shot" at... even keeping quiet can also be criticized as a mute.. u see la, how ridiculous can my bunch of aunties be.. I used to be upset and hate it when my mom told me last time.. long tongues!!! But my kind hearted mom told us never to bear grudges... So much about my big big extended family.. now I know how many uncles and aunties I have, how many cousins, nieces and nephews do I have?? I seriously need a calculator.............
So my parents, sis and i attended uncle's funeral this morning... all my grandparents' children attended, except fernie's mom who was excused as her mother-in-law just passed away a week earlier.. it was an awkward gathering... how awkward..? U see, this bunch of relatives dun even meet during CNY, so besides wedding dinner, where else can these people finally gather to meet? Its of course during such "event" lor... who wants to have another "gathering" shall have another old one to disappear... kinda sad right...?
The short service began at 12noon at the funeral parlour.. when the coffin was removed to the vehicle, a stray dog wailed... kinda strange... at Mandai crematory, there was another christian service by a hokkien-speaking pastor. It was a peaceful event all throughout... My 2nd uncle's wife took it rather well.. she gave a short speech, a conversation-like talk to the pastor.. she said my uncle just went off to God's home to rest and waiting for her there.. she is glad he did not suffer much pain and it is indeed a better way to go... the heart breaking part was when the coffin was wheeled to the inferno.. this is kinda sad right?? I couldnt hold back the tears and cried... together with my dad and all my relatives.. my 2nd uncle's wife and my aunties cried loudly this time.. and my cousin yelling "Daddy!!! bye bye!!!!" How sad can this be =( My usual cheerful 6th aunt was also in all tears... worse is my dad cried.. an iron man.. all smiles and cheeky and now crying.. I never seen my dad cried since my grandma died 17yrs back.. this is so heartbreaking.. with one down, who is gg next..? I'm sure this is a qn my bunch of elder aunties and uncles are thinking, yet dare not voice out... noone would imagine that my 2nd uncle would be first to go... I dunno how to deal with life and death.. 7yrs again when my grandma from my mom's side passed away, I was so sad that it seems the skies had fallen.. when my ah girl (pet dog) died in the same yr, my world came crashing down.. I am just so afraid of meeting death... I always have this selfish thought.. if I were to see my loved ones die one by one, I rather be the 1st to die.. hehe.. I just hope that after this affair, everyone will continue to live properly and well... may all those "old fellows" live long long and stay as healthy as possible..........
posted by wEnDy @ 8:43 PM
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